Our Final Visit

DO I look happy here???????? Well I'm NOT.. my final stay in the Hospital from Hell for the week from Hell:) This was in July. I think I had maybe a tiny smidgen of respect for Doctors then???? hmmmmm trying to remember..
Anyway, about a month ago, my Saint and I made of list of who I had to see before I could cut all ties to doctors except my PCP for my reg medication every 6 months. We have decided after 3 years that we will either get me better or we will die trying, literally. Every day for 3 years has been worse then the day before. When I was getting certain medications it pepped me up and got me thru some rough spots but it was not real. As soon as the meds stop, I'm back where I started.

I honestly do not think any one of the NINE (9) doctors that I've seen since January even know what they are seeing me for. I had gone to a doctor for about 15 years and loved him, but something happened and he went "poof". So it's been a challenge since the "poofing". It's SO difficult to find a doctor who you feel comfortable with and who will listen and try to work with you. I have a doctor now, he's "ok". that's about as kind as I can get. I saw him yesterday and he did listen better then he has been and we told him we would only be coming for meds, and he understood.

This morning I got an answer from an email from doctor #8 which basically said nothing except would I like an appointment. uhhhhhh noo :)

This afternoon I saw doctor #9. This was my optomologist. I do have cataracts but not serious enough to worry. I had a 2:30 appt. and at 4:20 I saw him for THREE (3) minutes. He said"I'm glad your in really good health".... I SAID WHAT???????????????? he said "oh you don't have diabetes" no I don't. Then he had to help me out of the chair and down the hall and got all befuddled!

So that's the end.. Doctor number 9 is my AMEN doctor. I'm thru, my sainted husband is thru. Right now things are not good for me, they are worse then they have ever been, but tomorrow is a new day and we are going to try to make this work.

I want your prayers for accepting things.. I am trying.. I want to stay positive and heal myself. I have my life partner to help. Sometimes we feel alone on an Island but so far we've handled what's come along!

Anyway, that's the blog for the day.. were thru and it feels like a load lifted off my shoulders! I'm conservatively estimating approximately 2 million dollars in 3 years. And we don't need Health Care Reform???????

Oh one other small thing.. EVERY doctor I've seen will be happy to prescribe ALL the anti depressants I want. It's become a joke with us, just waiting to see when the dr. suggests the AD :) BINGO you WIN!

Do I sound a little bitter? hmmmm probably.. wonder why?